One of the first things you will notice when you start to learn Malay is that we have a lot of words for “I” and “You”.

In English, it’s very simple. You just say “I” for yourself, and “You” for the person you are talking to. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking to your best friend, your boss, or the Prime Minister.

In Malay, it’s different.

Malay culture places a very high value on hierarchy, age, and respect (like other East Asian languages).

Because of this, the pronoun you choose depends entirely on who you are talking to.

If you use a casual word for “You” with an elder, it might be considered rude (kurang ajar). If you use a very formal word with a best friend, it sounds awkward and distant.

Don’t worry, though. It’s not as hard as it sounds.

In this guide, I’ll break down the most common Malay personal pronouns and explain exactly when to use them so you sound like a local.

First person pronouns (I, We)

Let’s start with how to refer to yourself. In Malay, there are two main categories: singular (I) and plural (We).

Here is a quick reference table:

Saya vs. Aku

If you are a beginner, my best advice is to always use Saya.

Saya is the safest word. You can use it with your teacher, a shopkeeper, a taxi driver, or a new friend. It is polite and humble.

Aku, on the other hand, is only for people you are very close to. You might hear teenagers or close friends using aku with each other. However, if you use aku with a stranger or an elder, it sounds harsh and rude.

Kami vs. Kita

This is a distinction that English speakers often struggle with because English just uses “We” for everything.

• Kami (Exclusive): Use this when “we” includes you and someone else, but not the person you are talking to.
  • Example: You tell your friend, “Kami (my family and I) are going on holiday.” (Your friend is not coming).
• Kita (Inclusive): Use this when “we” includes everyone in the conversation.
  • Example: “Kita (you and I) should go to the cinema.”

Second person pronouns (You)

This is the trickiest part of Malay grammar. There are many ways to say “You”, and choosing the wrong one can change the tone of the conversation.

Awak vs. Kamu vs. Anda

Awak is the most common spoken form of “you” for people of the same status or age. If you are talking to a friend or colleague, awak is a good choice.

Kamu is similar to awak, but it can sometimes sound a bit superior. Teachers often use kamu when speaking to students, or parents to children.

Anda is a word you will see in textbooks or on signs (e.g., “Anda dilarang merokok” - You are forbidden to smoke). However, Malay speakers rarely say anda in real life conversation. It sounds very robotic and stiff. Avoid using it in casual chat.

The danger of ‘Kau’

Just like Aku (I), the word Kau (short for Engkau) is very informal.

Only use this with your best friends. Using kau with a stranger is like shouting “Hey you!” at them. It is not polite.

Third person pronouns (He, She, They)

Thankfully, the third person is much easier!

No gender

The best news for English speakers is that Malay pronouns have no gender.

Dia means both “He” and “She”. You don’t have to worry about mixing them up!

When to use ‘Beliau’

While Dia is fine for almost everyone, we use Beliau when we want to show extra respect to someone of high status.

You would use Beliau for:

• Prime Ministers or politicians
• Doctors or Professors
• Highly respected community leaders

Using titles instead of pronouns

Here is a secret tip that will make you sound like a true Malaysian.

Often, Malays do not use pronouns at all.

Instead of saying “You”, we often address people by their title or their relationship to us. This is the most polite way to speak.

For example, if you are talking to a man who is older than you (like a big brother), you call him Abang. If you are talking to a woman older than you, you call her Kakak (or Kak).

Even strangers are addressed this way!

Common replacements for “You”:

• Pak Cik (Uncle) - For an older man.
• Mak Cik (Auntie) - For an older woman.
• Abang (Brother) - For a male slightly older than you.
• Kak (Sister) - For a female slightly older than you.
• Adik (Little sibling) - For someone younger than you.
• Cikgu (Teacher) - For a teacher.

So, instead of asking “Where are you going?”, you would ask:

This sounds much softer and more respectful than using Awak or Kamu.

Regional variations and slang

Malaysia has many dialects. If you travel outside of Kuala Lumpur, you might hear different pronouns.

Manglish (Malaysian English) mixing

In casual urban areas, especially Kuala Lumpur, it is extremely common to mix English pronouns into Malay sentences.

You will often hear locals say “I” and “You” instead of Saya and Awak.

This is not “proper” Malay, but it is very common in social situations.

Northern Dialect (Loghat Utara)

If you go to Penang or Kedah, the locals often switch:

• Saya becomes Cek (pronounced ‘Cheq’).
• Awak/Kamu becomes Hang.

Don’t worry about mastering these dialects yet, but it is good to recognize them so you don’t get confused!

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To keep it simple as you start your learning journey:

1. Use Saya for “I”.
2. Use Awak for “You” (or better yet, use a title like Abang or Kak).
3. Use Dia for “He/She”.
4. Avoid Aku and Kau until you are very close with someone.